Money, lazyness, lack of motivation. I feel like I've been punched in the face and once I woke up from that punch I was in the world called harsh life. I've never felt that the world could be so soulless. Blindly I thought that once I get my diploma I will get the jobs I want and earn money on what I love to do. Money wouldn't even be an issue and I wouldn't worry about that, the only thing that is important to me is to make photography that moves people emotionally.
I've never really thought about what responsibilities you will have after school, yes I was aware of them but that's not the same as experiencing them. And I experience them in the most soul sucking way possible. I now have a job, I now make money, great! Money is great woohoo!!
Sadly money is essential, it's essential because I need a camera, it's essential because I need a studio with lights, it's essential to surprise my parents with a gift that they've always wanted. It's essential because I want to travel to see my girlfriend that I love so very much.
Money is essential and right now I'm making money but it's the cost of my soul
( to put it dramatically ) less dramatically my happiness. I will not stop following my dream and I will not disappoint the past and future Dennis. I see who I can be and I've had a taste of the better version of me and it is sooo sweet let me tell you haha. Right now I'm a bad version of me, a version that is letting myself down as well as some people I hold very close to my heart. I hope they forgive me of how I've treated them.
I'm in a shitty situation but sooner or later I'll find my way out of this dark tunnel. I will keep running til I get where I want to be. I will keep fighting for what I know is essential to me. I will be the better version of myself and in the future the best that I can be. Hold on people and hold on me because I'm getting out of this shitty dark tunnel.